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Hi, my name is Alie.
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  • tyleroakley:

    "How To Put On Your Face" by Anna Akana

    (Source: skeletales)

    --- 7 hours ago --- 279,309 notes ---

    flukeoffate:

gingahninjah:

sliced bread is the greatest thing since betty white

Reblogging for that comment

    flukeoffate:

    gingahninjah:

    sliced bread is the greatest thing since betty white

    Reblogging for that comment

    (Source: blackwithmoreblack)

    --- 7 hours ago --- 151,924 notes ---

    rlyhigh:

saevuswinds:

vardaesque:

you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing


My thoughts exactly

    rlyhigh:

    saevuswinds:

    vardaesque:

    you don’t understand i would sell my firstborn to know how this story started

    Well it all started when Mrs. Hayfer wanted me to babysit her dumb house. When I got the keys, I sat them on top of this pie that I found on the counter. I knew it was going to be given to the family for desert if I didn’t eat it soon, so I was going to plan to eat it in my teacher’s house and dump all the crumbs on her bed. So it’s a win-win, right? Besides, she wouldn’t find out about the crumbs until after I was paid, and this teacher hates me anyway. Then, I got distracted when this hot cheerleader calls me, asking about what movie I’d recommend, but before I could answer, I realize that my mom would be there any second to serve dinner, and there was no way I was sharing that pie. So I bust out of there with the pie and the keys, and the moment I get in the house, I start chowing down on the pie with my bare hands, trying to eat this thing before anyone knows I took it, right? Well, since the pie crust was dry, I chugged a 2-liter bottle of soda whenever my throat would get dry and eventually, I really needed “to go.” Only when I went to flush, the water wouldn’t stop flowing and there was no plunger to be found. Usually I’d just shrug and say it was Josh’s fault or something, but let’s get real here, Mrs. Hayfer would’ve blamed me about her toilet overflowing if I was 30 states away. So I jammed my foot in there, hoping it’d make the toilet stop flushing. Then my phone rings, and I knew it was my mom, asking where her pie went, and because Meghan decided it’d be a great idea to make my ring tone a bunch of cats meowing, Mrs. Hayfer’s dog, Tiberius starts freaking out, bashing into the door over and over again. Now anyone who knows this dog knows that this dog will happily eat anything, and that includes the pie, and probably myself.  So my foot’s totally stuck in there right, I’m freaking out, the dog’s having a seizure and I still got half a pie left. 

    i feel it necessary to reblog since i just read that whole thing

    My thoughts exactly

    (Source: abadeerzs)

    --- 7 hours ago --- 987,129 notes ---


    --- 7 hours ago --- 419,363 notes ---

    (Source: givingaway)

    --- 7 hours ago --- 2,637 notes ---


    (Source: carameul)

    --- 14 hours ago --- 8,561 notes ---

    srsfunny:

My Stomach In Classhttp://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

    srsfunny:

    My Stomach In Class
    http://srsfunny.tumblr.com/

    --- 14 hours ago --- 74 notes ---


    --- 14 hours ago --- 16,406 notes ---

    coffeeandlavender:

    OH.. MY.. GODDDD

    (Source: steampunktendencies)

    --- 14 hours ago --- 25,604 notes ---

    This is how the rain looks like when you’re up there.

    aphotyc-shades:

    sadisticmagidan:

    image

    BEST PHOTO IN EXISTENCE.

    I love how it’s only over that town, like Nature decided to just fuck their day up.

    fuck this place in particular 

    (Source: harahana.blog110.fc2.com)

    --- 14 hours ago --- 835,099 notes ---

    naturalpalettes:

Photographer Rudy Baum

    naturalpalettes:

    Photographer Rudy Baum

    --- 14 hours ago --- 31,575 notes ---


    Mr. Brightside by The Killers

    vuoleballare:

    Mr. Brightside - The Killers

    --- 14 hours ago --- 21,008 notes --- 96,289 plays ---


    (Source: vhsnetwork)

    --- 14 hours ago --- 6,900 notes ---


    --- 14 hours ago --- 349 notes ---

    ruinedchildhood:

    has this been done yet

    --- 22 hours ago --- 228,616 notes ---